Earth

Earth jokes

Volcano

Why was the mountain in love with the volcano?

Because the volcano was hot!

God

God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?

Difference

What is the difference between human rights and the Earth?

The Earth has been to be between two games a year after school, a time and fun game that has.

Insult

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

Memes

Class

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.
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  • Heaven

    Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?

    Volcano

    What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?

    "I have runny volcanoes."

    Mama

    Yo mama so fat, she fell over. Nobody laughed, but the ground cracked up.

    Country

    If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?

    Light

    If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?

    Canyon

    What did one canyon say to the other?

    You stay here, I'm gonna rise up on ahead.

    Mama

    Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!

    Demon

    The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬

    Sex

    You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

    Virus

    One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

    A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

    Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

    Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"

    Pilot

    9/11

    Who are the fastest readers on Earth?

    The pilots flying the 9/11 planes. They went through 6 stories in 5 seconds.

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  • Day

    Flat

    Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.

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  • Language

    The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.

    “I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”

    “From my father,” said Johnny.

    “Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”

    “I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

    Tree

    "Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."