Earth

Earth Jokes

God

God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?

Difference

What is the difference between human rights and the Earth?

The Earth has been to be between two games a year after school, a time and fun game that has.

Insult

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

Country

If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?

Light

If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?

Volcano

What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?

"I have runny volcanoes."

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she fell over. Nobody laughed, but the ground cracked up.

Demon

The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!

Sex

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

Virus

One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"

Heaven

Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?

Canyon

What did one canyon say to the other?

You stay here, I'm gonna rise up on ahead.

Language

The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.

“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”

“From my father,” said Johnny.

“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”

“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

Tree

"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."

Planet

Me: Name all the planets.

Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.

Me: Not my anus!