Earth jokes
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
Average bee is 50x smarter than the smartest flat earther.
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."
Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!
What is the difference between a human and a magic house?
To the Earth, is the human body of the human being human? Is it human? Human can be the one day today after the night is the snow time and a.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
Do people live on the Earth 🌏? Yes, a lot of people live on the Earth 🌎.
People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.
You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
Why was the mountain in love with the volcano?
Because the volcano was hot!