Dying jokes

Christmas Tree

17 views ·

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

Grandpa

42 views ·

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

Tunnel

155 views ·

Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.

He shouts “you stupid cunt!”

The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”

Dodi replies...:

“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”

Pilot

46 views ·

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

Suicide

8 views ·

Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.

It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.

Plane

32 views ·

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

Icon

8 views ·

What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.

Dye

7 views ·

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

Chicken

1 view ·

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

Advice

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

News

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."