Dying jokes
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
What happened when the man died? Yes.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣