Dying jokes

We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

If I die, does my depression die with me?

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

My dog died. I'm so sad.

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

How did the lesbian die? Homicide.

Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.

My friend died from Ligma!

Ligma balls.

Chuck Norris makes the living room the dying room!

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

My ex died in an anchorage accident.

She always was a sleeping hooker.