Dying jokes
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.
The cemetery is so overcrowded.
People are just dying to get in.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.