Drug jokes
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
Pussy = drugs.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.