Drug jokes
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
Pussy = drugs.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.