Drug jokes
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
Pussy = drugs.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.