Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Drug Jokes
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
