Drug jokes
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?
Drugs.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
My life.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.