Newest Drown Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

Chuck Norris can drown a fish

Roses are red,
I like cake:
248/442
A man saved me from drowning, but now I am suing him for rape
Cassidy Ben
960.948 views

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore, she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

Hugging Leo is a great way to commit SUICIDE... you’d just drown in all her FATNESS

FUN FACT:
If humans stood in a single file
line around the equator,
most of them would drown.

What is worse than seeing your sibling drown? Getting the water bill

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week? Everyone was furious but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.

Roses are red Get on the ground gimme your stuff get ready to drown.

How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning.....,, Shoot her before she touches the water

I left my boots on in the river and i drowned

Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic ocean? Yeah it went on and on.

Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning

I wanna take drowning lessons but I can't find more than session

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little
bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the
Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids
on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am
trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire
US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another
target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of
which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my
fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that
shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we
speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across
the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better
prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the
pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead,
kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over
seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I
have access to the entire arsenal of the United States
Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your
miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If
only you could have known what unholy retribution your
little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you,
maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you
couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you
goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown
in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Your arms are open They stretch towards me Reaching, grabbing, pulling me Surrounding me Drowning me in my helplessness Time standing still, inside here Looking through windows, time passing by Let me go, will ya

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub Is 1 way to describe how my inner child acts but yesterday I killed them now I hear Wubba Lubba Dub Dub I’m drowning in the tub

do depressed people hate swimming. They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression but they love it cus it might make all their dreams come true

2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."