Drown jokes
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.