Chuck Norris can drown a fish
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore, she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit SUICIDE... you’d just drown in all her FATNESS
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown? Getting the water bill
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week? Everyone was furious but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
Roses are red Get on the ground gimme your stuff get ready to drown.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning.....,, Shoot her before she touches the water
I left my boots on in the river and i drowned
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic ocean? Yeah it went on and on.
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning
I wanna take drowning lessons but I can't find more than session
Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Your arms are open They stretch towards me Reaching, grabbing, pulling me Surrounding me Drowning me in my helplessness Time standing still, inside here Looking through windows, time passing by Let me go, will ya
Wubba Lubba Dub Dub Is 1 way to describe how my inner child acts but yesterday I killed them now I hear Wubba Lubba Dub Dub I’m drowning in the tub
do depressed people hate swimming. They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression but they love it cus it might make all their dreams come true
2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth
POV: Wine Taster in hell
I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."
People were scared of the alligator because it ate every one, so they called for the water god Aquarius. He said " sea ya later alligator!" and he drowned.
