Drive jokes
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human being is the one who can drive.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What is a good night's sleep?
"Good night night love ❤️"
What is the difference between a human and a tree and yyyyy night I can drive yyy earth 🌏?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
What is the difference between a house and a car? A car can drive and a house can not drive.
What do you call a school bus that you cannot drive?
A friend.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."