Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
Drink Jokes
Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
Why do orphans like water?
Cuz they drink it ;)
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
What did the water say to the cup?
"Good day!"
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
A man walks into a bar.
Ouch!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Why can't I drink tea??
Because I laugh too much. TEEEEEHEHEEE
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
Why drink water and not bleach?
