Drink jokes
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!
The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso!!! LOL XD XD XD
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
Pop a choccy milk!
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
I took a sip of water.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.