This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
How old do you have to be to drink? any age
A Grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.....The Bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you". The Grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide? When exactly my cult members drink the Kool aid
I like my women how i like my coffee......... HOT
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words: What the fuck is in this drink
What do superheroes 🦸♀️ put in their drinks?
Just ice 🧊.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Royal rebel and push so back they ever marble say that drink pushback
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water, because the dad didn't come back with the milk
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean and North Korean all walk into a bar
The Landlord says "why the same faces lads".
Your so poor when you drink water from a cup people flick a coin into it
my mom told me to go to bed but then I grabbed a drink went in their room to say goodnight and they looked like adam and eve on steroids
A sandwich walks into a bar
Bartender says sorry we don't serve food here
What does an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
people say your body is 75% is water while mine 100% full of coffee
