Downing jokes

Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!

Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

Q: Get up for a chair joke!

A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?

Yeah, he Pasta-Way.

Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”

No? Shame, it was real fun.

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0

Student: 69 gay = xxx

Teacher: You're out!!!

Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*

😂😂😂😂

Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.

When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.

Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"

How did the Asian couple name their child?

They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."

The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."

Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.

Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!

Why couldn’t the house see?

The blinds were down.

What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?

Sandstorm.

Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!