Downing jokes

Mum

2 views ·

Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!

Mama

2 views ·

Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.

Exam

55 views ·

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Wheelchair

11 views ·

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

Food

2 views ·

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

Patient

5 views ·

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

Death

9 views ·

Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"

Mexican

13 views ·

Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?

A: A mud slide.

Heart

3 views ·

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

Cookie

1 view ·

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

Food

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"