Downing jokes

What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?

They both hit me face down on the table.

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.

Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.

Also dwarf: can’t see.

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

I was reading a book about gravity. It was so hard to put down!

Why did the doctor turn down the orphan?

He was a family physician.

What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?

A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.

Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.

Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.

Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"

Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?

Abo-lanche.

What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?

Aaron with a rope.

If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.

Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.

Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!

What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.