Downing jokes

Race Car

  • Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.

    Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"

    The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."

  • 6
  • Sex

  • Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.

    When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."

  • 2
  • Cowboy

  • There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"

    The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."

    The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"

  • 23
  • Shrek

  • Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

  • 2
  • Snake

  • There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"

    She replies with, "These are my headlights."

    He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."

    So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."

    Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"

  • 1
  • Dad

  • A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

    His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

    The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

    His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."

    Mom

  • Me and my mom order Chinese food.

    My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

  • 0
  • Store

  • I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

    I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

    Rape

  • A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.

    After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."

  • 8
  • Coronavirus

  • Last night I had the strangest dream!

    I sailed away to China!

    And I caught the coronavirus!

    You said you needed to wash your hands!

    Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!

    And you said!!

    Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!

    Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!

    Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!

  • 0
  • Road Trip

  • A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.

    The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."

    The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."

    Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."

  • 0