Downing jokes

What do you call plane crash victims?

Down to earth people.

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?

You’ve got to get more than one down.

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?

Yeah, he Pasta-Way.

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?

A. They always seem to punch down.

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.

It was impossible to put down.

Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"