Downing jokes

Suicide

Guys, I promise Iโ€™m not suicidal, I just like dark things.

*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*

People

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

Sodium

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

Girl

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.

I want my first time to be special.

Grandma

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

Memes

Man

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldnโ€™t see himself doing it.

Tower

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

โ€œI guess we are going down together!โ€

Tower

I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.

They always start with two towers downed.

Mama

Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!

Black Hole

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

Titanic

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

Girl

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I wanted my first time to be special.

Doctor

Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?

Doctor: Yep.

Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.

Yo Momma

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.

Pedophile

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

Gravity

Twin Towers

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they donโ€™t come back up.

Eskimo

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."

The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

Girl

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.