It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom Kill confermed
What do you call 3 kids laying down in the classroom Kill streak
There’s something on your chin no the third one down
What did the green grape say too the purple one
Calm down and take a breath
your hairline so bad it went down like the twin towers
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are you're parents?" And he started to cry even more... "Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
a guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road and he smells fish and he says good morning ladies
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the isle.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road, and yelled out, "MARIO KART!"
What goes up and down and needs two people? A seesaw
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any! Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
*Knock knock*
Why are you knocking on a wall, you're in the Twin Towers and they're going down
i went down to my frigde to grab my dinner i said to the children whose next?
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road? A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest it’s got its ups and downs
What does a stick say when it falls down- Wood you help me up
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
