Downing jokes

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.

Spongebob: 9 letters

Squarepants: 11 letters

Spongebob did 9/11.

What did the Titanic say while sinking?

"It's going down."

Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"

Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?

To tie his kangaroo down, sport!

Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!

Doctor: Sit down for a minute.

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?

An airstrike.

Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."