Downing jokes

Sister

  • So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.

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  • Step

  • How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

    1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝

    These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.

  • 1
  • Genie

  • Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

    The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

    The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

    The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

    The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

  • 0
  • Heart

  • My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

    Wish

  • Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.

    The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j

  • 0
  • Cat

  • I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.

  • 1
  • Hail

  • A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

  • 5
  • Bag

  • So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”

  • 2
  • Survivor

  • Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world? Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.

  • 0
  • Family

  • There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.

    One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"

    "Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.

    "I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.

    "Are you mad?" The police asked.

    "Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.

    "Where's your brain?" Asked the police.

    "At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.

  • 0