Downing jokes
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
What do iPhone batteries and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both go down quickly.
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Yo mama is so fat, she got locked in a weapon store, and she broke it down without any weapons.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.