Downing jokes

Guard

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

Daycare

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

Step

How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

1. Sell Casemeiro πŸ€‘ 2. Sell Pernandes πŸ€‘ 3. Sell Bencho πŸ€‘ 4. Sell Trashford πŸ€‘ 5. Terminate penaldo πŸ€‘ 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal πŸ“

These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.

Mom

When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.

Memes

Class

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

Dog

You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.

Suicide

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

Emo

Why can't emos stand in chairs?

Because they never get down.

Noise

What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?

Windows shutting down.

Mama

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Orphanage

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

Smoking

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.

Hairline

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

Gut

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

Triplet

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!