Downing jokes
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.