Downing jokes

Midget

    • I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.

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    • Chicken

    • When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.

    Downing memes

    Doctor

    • So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."

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    • Letter

    • After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

    ...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

    370HSSV 0773H

    All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

    One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

    "Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

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    • Fish

    • A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"

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    • Shooter

    • The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

    "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

    Story

    • A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

    But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.

    “My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

    Pin drop silence in the class!

    "Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

    “Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”

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    • Down Syndrome

    • This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

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    • Magician

    • Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

    Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

    "Really?" asked a little girl.

    "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

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    • Text

    • The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.