Downing jokes

What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.

When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.

What's the biggest problem with gravity?

It keeps putting people down.

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?

A baked potato.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?

Windows shutting down.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.

The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”

“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”

“Ten,” says the doctor.

“What, years? Months?!”

“Nine...”

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.