Downing jokes

Furry

  • I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

    I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

    He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

    "Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

  • 1
  • Wordplay

  • A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."

  • 6
  • Girl

  • Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

    A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

    Wife

  • Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.

    Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.

    Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."

    Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.

    He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.

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  • Pedophile

  • The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

    "Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

    So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

    "Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

  • 1
  • Rickroll

  • Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.

    Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.

  • 1
  • Hunter

  • Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.

    Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"

    Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."

    Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."

    *Operator hears a distant gunshot*

    Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"

  • 1
  • Son

  • Mom: Son, did you go to school?

    Son: What if I said yes?

    Mom: You are in school! *slap*

    Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.

    Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(

    Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.

    Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!

    Son: Good.

    Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?

    If you like it, please commit down.

    Mama

  • Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"

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  • Family

  • The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

    Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

    Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

    Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

    Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

  • 0