Downing jokes
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
What goes up and down but stays in the same place?
Stairs.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”