Downing jokes

The twin towers are like water bottles.

It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.

What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?

They both can crash down.

How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.

Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.

About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"

Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.

Call me an elevator, because I let people down.

I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.

Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?

Because it has a tender behind.

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

Two Indians are walking beside a river...

One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.

"The White Man was here."

"How can you tell?"

"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.