Downing Jokes

My friend: you ever feel like life is pointless *drives faster* Me: yea- My friend: if you could die with one person who would it be? *speeds up more* Me: H-hey you should slow down! slow down slow down! were about to-

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake but it ended up fulfilling the 5 year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree

Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic

What’s a kid with Down syndromes favorite candy... Grunts

Call me an elevator, because I let people down..

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

What goes up and down but stays in the same place? Stairs.

I was a sit down comedian then i try to stand up I felled

I wished i stayed in the wheelchair.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down

They told me throwing babies was bad but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

Why does the sky think it's so powerful Because it's always looking down on us

When Michael Jackson died people melted him down into lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

Why did the carrot roll down the hill? Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "yep that's definitely Joe," but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that's not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, "how is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?" The 1st friend said, "well you see Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious? the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there's Joe with those 2 assholes."

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said; “Well, that’s a little condescending.”