Downing jokes

Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.

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  • There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

    One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

    The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

    The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

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  • Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

    What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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  • Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."

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  • Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?

    Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!

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  • Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

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  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

    If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?

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  • A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

    The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

    The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

    The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

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