DoS jokes

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

Tortilla chips.

What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?

A milkshake.

Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."

What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?

Mash potato.

Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"

Trump: "Screw the women and children!"

Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"

What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?

The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.

Why do orphans play GTA? Because they want to feel wanted.

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?

I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

PORK-CHOP

Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?

A) Robert Drowney Jr.

What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?

They're both hookers.

What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.

What do you call a burning church?

Holy smokes.

Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!