DoS Jokes

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door

Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?

Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student: The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher: She drowned?!

Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.

What do you call two Mexicans fighting? Juan on Juan.

What do planets like to read? Comet books!

How do you cut the sea in half?

With a sea-saw.

Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?

A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

Son: Dad, am I adopted?

Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.

How do you blindfold an Asian?

With dental floss.

What do you call an Asian prostitute?

Suck Mi Dong.

Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.

Why do orphans want to be communist?

So they would have a motherland.

Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."

Me: "Why did you?"

Mom: "I was very drunk..."

Explains a lot...

Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?

A: A stump.

What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.

How do you punish Helen Keller?

You leave the plunger in the toilet.

At a date:

He: "I work with animals every day."

Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"

He: "I'm a butcher."

Why do orphans have water in their cereal?

Because their dad never came home with the milk.

Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!

How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.