What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do you call a Dino stripper?
A dinowhore.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
