They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
DoS Jokes
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
What do you call a Dino stripper?
A dinowhore.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
