DoS jokes
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A: A stump.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
Memes
DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.