What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
DoS Jokes
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
What do you call it when Panera Bread has bread?
Panera Bread.
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
