DoS jokes
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.