DoS jokes
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
What do you call a rapper with bad credit?
Lil Borrow.
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?
They're both chubby.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"