Dont jokes
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.