Dont jokes
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.