Dont jokes
Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it?
And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Why did the qack go duck?
I don't know, rhydon deez. 4x2=8
Why do orphans start fights?
Because they don't get in trouble at home.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.