Dont jokes
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.
Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
Chuck Norris is...
What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
Mikey don't clean his foreskin dude straight gay.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...