Dont jokes
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
Don't free Britney!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
This is bullshit! Stop showing cheesy and dumb jokes! This website is for dark humor, insults, and morbid content! All of you who don’t talk about the following, go die!
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".