Donald jokes

I don't like Trump because he has ruined my kind's greatest man, Donald Duck.

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.

What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?

Poutine with Russian dressing!

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks!

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."

Joe: "Bi den"

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.