Donald

Donald jokes

Difference

    • What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?

    One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.

    What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?

    It just doesn't work...

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    • Racist

    • America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.

    White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"

    The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."

    1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"

    Stress

    • Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

    Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

    Donald memes

    Boycott

    • Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.

    And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.

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    • Donald Trump

    • A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

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    • Family

    • The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

    Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

    Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

    Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

    Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

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    • Trump

    • Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.

    And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.

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    • Trump

    • Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."

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