Doesnt jokes
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.