DOE jokes
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?
Because he is nuts about them!
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
What does Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass slippers.
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
Teacher: Ok class, good morning. We are going to start off by asking what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says "moo moo."
Teacher: Good!
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says "baa baaa."
Teacher: Good! Now, what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall, you stupid mother fucker!"
How does water say hi?
It waves.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”