DOE jokes
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground? A bolder choice.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like? Depends...