DOE jokes
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
Memes
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"