DOE jokes
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.