DOE jokes
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
Memes
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.