DOE jokes

Rear

What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?

John fucked them both in the rear.

Author

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Memes

Cow

What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?

"Here's the beef of the week!"

Rest

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

Kardashians

How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One really small one and one really small black guy.

Suicide

People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.

Baby

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.

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  • Cow

    Teacher: What does a pig give you?

    Little Johnny: Bacon.

    Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

    Little Johnny: Wool.

    Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

    Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

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  • Girlfriend

    Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

    The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

    A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

    Toilet Paper

    Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.

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