DOE jokes
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...