DOE jokes
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"