DOE jokes
YOOO, does anyone need an ark? I know a guy!
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Why does the orphan hate family jokes?
Cus it doesn't have one.
There is a young lady.
She is beautiful.
She got much vote.
But she speaks very fast.
Does she think she looks smart doing that?
She makes me feel bad.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
What does CNN stand for? The Counterfeit News Network.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".