DOE jokes
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
Memes
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Why does the owl š¦ have a lot of friends?
Because heās a hoot.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
āYou got nice buns!ā
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. š„µ
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ā ļø
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I donāt know. I was too busy wanking.