DOE jokes
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”