DOE jokes
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?
'Cuz he's the Father!!!
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
Pokémon
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover his butt-quack.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.