DOE jokes
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Memes
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.