DOE jokes

Kid

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

Lightbulb

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

Cricket

What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?

A bat.

Calendar

Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?

Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.

Memes

Orphan

How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.

Discount

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Orphan

Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?

Mom forgot to come back with the milk.

Man

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

Sexuality

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...

Orphan

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

Midget

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?

They never look down on anyone.

Friend

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

Cannibal

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"

Cow

What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?

"Here's the beef of the week!"

Blind man

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?

“Good evening, ladies.”

Orphan

What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?

They are both invisible.

Orphan

Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?

A: Because they can't find home.