DOE jokes
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹