DOE jokes
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.