DOE jokes
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Memes
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
If I die, does my depression die with me?
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
How does the skeleton call his friends? With a tele-bone.
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.