DOE jokes
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
is water wet? or does water make stuff wet
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.