DOE jokes
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
is water wet? or does water make stuff wet
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!