DOE jokes
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two; 1 to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.
How many blacks does it take to start a riot?
-1.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.