DOE jokes
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two; 1 to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.
How many blacks does it take to start a riot?
-1.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
Memes
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.