DOE jokes
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
What is not the definition of prostitution?
A dumb blonde that got money for babysitting. Does it cycle now?
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.