DOE jokes
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!