DOE jokes
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!