DOE jokes

Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?

IT JUST DOES!!!!

How does Moses make his cup of tea?

He brews it.

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They're both turned on by kids.

How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?

4!

One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

what game does an emo love?

Hangman.

Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?

There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.

Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.

How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

What song does Saturn sing?

"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."

So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

How does NASA organise a party?

They ‘PLANET’.

A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

Roosters don't lay eggs.

How many babies does it take to light up a basement?

I don't know, my basement is still dark.

What does a baby in a blender look like?

I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

When does a skeleton laugh?

When someone tickles his funny bone!

Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"