DOE jokes
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
Why does this always happen to me...
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
Why does USA suck at Clash Royale? They already lost two towers.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!