DOE jokes
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Memes
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.