What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your Hare cut!
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What type of camp does a kid with adhd go to. Concentration camp
what does a pregnant 14 year old and her foetus? theyre both thinking; oh sh@t my moms gonna kill me!
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
What does an orphan's father and Nemo have in common.
They are both nowhere to be found.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
35. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry. 41. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state. 43. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What does DNA stand for? National dyslexic assosiation
What does a queen 👸 want on her cookie 🍪?
Royal Icing.
Why does china have the biggest eyewear ? because all there eyes are to small
a girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says suck my dick and ill buy you a dress and she does it and says to him dad your Dick tastes like shit and he says yeah your brother wanted a car
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says “Your mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says “You’re so so sexy!”
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it
how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5 4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall. Well it depends on how hard you throw them
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabites.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think "Mom's probably going to kill me"
what did the skeleton say to the other wow that song spooky scary skeletons really does send chills down my spine
