DOE Jokes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

How does the bunny keep his fur neat?

With a hare brush.

How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

What feature does an orphan's phone not have?

A home button.

The image is a visual puzzle. It shows two nearly identical images of a bridge over a river. The left image is not marked, the right image has a red circle marking an area. The text says "Everyone can spot the bridge - but you have 20/20 vision if you can see hidden face in under 6 seconds." above the two images. Above the two images, the text says: "I mean, I seen the balls first does that count?"

How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.

Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?

To finally call someone Daddy!

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.

How many blacks does it take to start a riot?

-1.

The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two; 1 to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.

What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.

Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.

Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?

Because it's male bonding.

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Wanna go ride a bike?

What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.