DOE jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they all sit in the dark.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?
You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.
Why does Ella have cancer?
Because she’s stupid.
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"