DOE jokes
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
Teacher: Ok class, good morning. We are going to start off by asking what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says "moo moo."
Teacher: Good!
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says "baa baaa."
Teacher: Good! Now, what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall, you stupid mother fucker!"
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says, "moo moo."
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says, "baa baaa."
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall you black mother fucke*!"
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.