DOE jokes
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?
The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.
Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
What food does cheetahs eat?
Cheetos!
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!
What does William say when he hurts his toe?
"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out."
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!