DOE jokes
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Memes
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩
Why does an orphan play mum and dad?
'Cause they need self-love.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
How does the cheetah do in every race?
It’s always a cheetah.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.