DOE jokes
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
Memes
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Why does an orphan play mum and dad?
'Cause they need self-love.
How does the cheetah do in every race?
It’s always a cheetah.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
Why does the emo hate Christmas?
The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.