DOE jokes
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
What does Amogus and Jesus have in common?
They're sus.
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What would a gay man do for free that a heterosexual woman that is a whore won't do for $50.00 for a heterosexual man?
Suck his balls.
What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?
"Need help packing your shit?"
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.