So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.
The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."
"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.
"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
What does an electric-type Pokรฉmon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
Iโm Zaptos intolerant!
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!
How does the cheetah do in every race?
Itโs always a cheetah.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you donโt know how to use a pistol? Look, Iโll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasnโt a very good demonstration.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What does CNN stand for? The Counterfeit News Network.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
