DOE jokes
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.
The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."
"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.
"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."