DOE jokes
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?
"Need help packing your shit?"
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"