What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
DOE Jokes
Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.
Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?
There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Q: What does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Life!
Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
What does a cow say? Moo.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
